In the beginning of January, I decided that I was frustrated with the medicine I had been on. It was making me gain weight and I wanted to get rid of it. So I decided to try getting off of it and try a new way of dieting. Counting macros, aka flexible dieting. I followed a girl on instagram that really inspired me, so I had her start coaching me. I was excited and motivated to start.
I liked the diet from the beginning and started to see changes within the first week. I was still in the process of trying to get my health figured out and my next move was to start meeting with a hematologist (blood doctor). The neurologist thought I needed to start looking into the blood clotting issue (prothombin gene mutation 20210A) they found in my genes back when I had the miscarriage. She wondered if that could have anything to do with my symptoms. I called to get an apt. with a hematologist and they took a while to get into. I had to wait about 2 weeks for my apt. My apt was set for January 13th, 2016.
On January 11th, I had been on the macro counting for about 2 weeks, and then I started feeling crummy. The week before that, I had been to the doc for a sinus infection and had been on an antibiotic, I was starting to feel worse. My right ear was super plugged, I had a bad cough, I was super tired, irritable etc. I wasn’t exactly sure why I had so many symptoms, but thought it was most likely because I had gotten off the medication I had been on. Then I started to think about when my last menstrual cycle was (sorry TMI), ever since the 17 week miscarriage, my cycle was all over the place. When they removed my polyp in my uterus back in May of 2015, they thought that would get my cycles back on track, but it never did.
I started thinking hard about my cycle and realized, I should of had one at the point I was at. The possibility of pregnancy at first didn’t really cross my mind. We had IN NO WAY been trying. We were trying to get all the testing done before thinking about pregnancy. So we were PREVENTING!
Aside of the fact that we were preventing, we both had talked many times about when we should start to try again. We were both VERY ready to have another baby and felt like it was something that was meant for our family, but we just needed to get all my health stuff out of the way first.
By the next day, January 12th, I still had not started. I felt a bit crampy, but not too much. I started to panic. I had been on medication that wasn’t baby friendly and had only been off of it for 1 week and a half. I wasn’t taking prenatals, had been on an antibiotic, had eaten sushi, sat in a hot tub, taken loads of ibuprofen, mucinex etc. If I was pregnant, ( which in my opinion was NOT possible) then I was worried about the baby already.
I decided I needed to ease my mind and had Andy grab some pregnancy tests at the store on the way back from his run that morning. I kept telling him there was NO WAY, but I guess we shall see. I went into the bathroom after he left for work and the boys were at school and I peed on the stick (TMI, again ha!), right away it was POSITIVE! Wha??? NO WAY POSSIBLE! I’m telling you, NO WAY! I took another test…POSITIVE. Then another…POSITIVE! I knew at that point that was no coincidence.
I was literally in shock and thought there must be something hormonally wrong with me and that is why it is coming back positive. I texted Andy right away.
I really got worried! Now one of the big differences between Andy and I, is my “troubled heart” is what we call it. Vs. his faith that all is well.. no matter what. Now both of those can be a good thing and both can be bad at times. I was worried sick at this point, he was EXCITED.
His text was sweet and hopeful, which of course made me more worried, because I didn’t want to let him down. But, I coincidentally had an apt. the next day with a hematologist. The exact doctor I would be working with if I was to get pregnant anyway. So, coincidence? Maybe.. Heavenly Father? I think so.
I later called my mom, (which normally I keep pregnancy quiet for a while) but I had to get my fear off my chest. At first she was worried with me. But then she comforted me and filled me with hope.
The next day April 13th,2016. I still hadn’t started. I went to my apt. which was located at an oncology medical center. It was terribly difficult to look around at all the many sick people around me. One thing it did do for me, was first and foremost, inspire me. These people were sick and quite possibly miserable, but they had smiles on their faces and were trying to live their lives. Second, it made me grateful. no matter if I was pregnant or not. I had SO MUCH to be grateful for. I was there for 3 hours. Normally that would frustrate me. But all I could think of was those people in those rooms. NEEDING their doctors. NEEDING their comfort and expertise. NEEDING hope. Since that was the case, I was fine with the wait.
When I got in the room, my doctor was the sweetest woman I had ever met. She was endearing and attentive. I really felt valued to her. I was grateful for that. I told her about my possible pregnancy and that I wasn’t convinced I was. She said, she was going to do a full blood panel on me anyway, so she would test that as well. She said if I was, I would come back the following day and start on BLOOD THINNER SHOTS. I would take them daily until 36 weeks and then twice a day until delivery and then back to once a day for 6 weeks after delivery. Talk about overwhelming. I went and got my blood taken and waited for the results.
The next morning the nurse called me and told me I was indeed PREGNANT. 3 to 4 weeks along and that I would need to come back to the center and begin my shots. It was a CRAZY 36 hours. I had just gone from NOT POSSIBLY being pregnant to BEING pregnant and starting on daily shots. HOW WAS THIS POSSIBLE??
I went and picked up my shots and headed to the clinic to learn how to do it.
The first shot wasn’t too bad. It burned for about 10 minutes and then was over. I wasn’t thrilled about taking shots daily for the next year. Especially because I am terrified of needles, but all I could feel was grateful.
I called my OB next. The nurse told me not to worry about the meds and food I had taken and eaten. She said the baby feeds on a yolk sac for the first 8 weeks and so the baby wouldn’t have gotten all that stuff. That relieved me!
After all the anxiety came down. I couldn’t stop crying! I WAS HAVING A BABY! I felt like Heavenly Father knew all the fears I have had. I had felt like it was time, but didn’t dare try for it. What a blessing it was that I didn’t have to worry about if I was pregnant or not for the first while after trying. He took away a lot of my fears. Also because it wasn’t my plan, I felt like it was HIS. So much comfort has come with that. Yes, I still worried. But I had so much comfort and faith this time. He was calming my troubled heart!