After our Utah trip, I started to get really nervous about whether or not the baby was ok. Flying brought up a lot of fear in me. Both my hematologist and my OB told me I would be ok to fly. They said since I was on blood thinners, I should be good to go. For some reason, that didn’t fully calm my fear.
The whole time I was on the plane, I was trying to keep my blood moving. Moving my legs, a lot and getting up to go to the bathroom.
After landing, my mind kept going to fearful thoughts. But I tried to stay faithful. Luckily for me, I start to feel my babies early on. So I felt the baby a few times while in Utah and that brought me peace.
Upon returning, that fear came back and I started debating buying a baby heart rate monitor. I looked them up on Amazon while on the plane ride home and couldn’t get myself to get one. I thought it was a ridiculous thing to spend money on and really thought it wasn’t necessary.
I kept debating it and started talking to a friend one day who had also gone through two miscarriages. She told me that she bought one and that she didn’t even close to regret her decision. She said if anything it was something that brought her joy and eased her mind. So right there on the spot, while talking to her, I bought it. It had many great reviews and wasn’t too terribly bad in price. About $50.00.
I received it same day.. good o’l Amazon.
That night I was a bit embarrassed and nervous to try it, so I quietly went in a room by myself. I put aloe vera gel on my belly and then on the monitor, and then I prayed. I asked Heavenly Father to prepare me for whatever I heard or didn’t hear. I put it on my belly and found the heart beat right away. That fast beat was so miraculous to me and I was so grateful to hear my baby and not silence
Once I heard that, I went downstairs to find Andy. I asked him if he wanted to listen. I wasn’t sure how he would respond, but he was all about it. The monitor comes with a splitter so we could both listen to it at the same time. When he heard it, his face lit up. It was fun for me to share that moment with him. He started counting the beat and we talked about the wives tales and the heart rate. We decided off of the heart rate that it was a girl. Ha!
The next morning, I decided to let the boys have a listen. What a sweet moment for me. I could feel them bonding already. They were both excited and giggly and thought it was really neat.
After sharing these moments, I couldn’t help but think it was stupid for me to be embarrassed about buying something that would bring so much joy. I’m grateful my friend convinced me. I wouldn’t have bought it on my own.